Hi ya me 1 n only,still love n want you back darling a wish i could i miss you so much carl,a wish i could just be with you,evertthing would be so much easyer even for the bairns,its so unfair av always been there for them and now they,v got to watch me fall to bits its just not right,whats right is me and you together no matter were its got to be,i just dont no where you are,am lost with out you darl.our alans memory today,10year allott has happenend since we lost him,1 of misserey coz since we lost im life has been down hill all the way but since i lost you carl,my life has stopped am going nowhere nothing matters no more but to be with you,give me mam abig kiss for is tell her shesw well missed darl i didnt have either 1 of you,s when i really needed you,s most i no neither of you,s gould do anything about it though but it was so hard,and without you carl will always be hard aq so wish you were hare,i no i cont do this without you carl,its annoying when i try in tell people n they say i can,a no they cont bring you back but just 1 person to understand would be a help.i really really cont do this on my own.darl i,ll have to go coz it all still rips me to bits tell alan,peter and my guy i love,miss n need them all and me mam tell her i wish i was as strong as she was then i could sail through this and you darl you be there for me ok dont you 4get me please darl i need you so much.untill am with u again darl i will never stop loveing or wanting you the main thing in my life a live for now is to be with you i love you with everything in mexxx