Hi ya Carl,just thought I'd remind you,am still here waiting for you to come home,I love n miss you so much Carl I need you here with me u still own my heart,all of it n it really hurts not having u around,still cont believe av lost you,dosnt make any since nothing dose coz without you nothing is right nothings normal anymore,just coz I breathe people think am serviveing but the don't no just how hard living without you really is,a do am going down hill again,started to have lots of BSD days again don't no if its xmas or knowing our horrible day is just round the corner again I don't no but I do no am going to see my doctor,surely I don't have to feel like this for the rest of my life if so I cont do it Carl,I just want a little bit happiness n someone to care,n I don't mean a man I mean even one of the kids to care,all the time I mean not just once a week,we had it all me n you that's how I no how much av lost, I love you with everything I was born with Carl xxx ME N YOU 4EVEA N ALWAYS DARL XXXX